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Who To Be When Dating

Ahhhh…the joys of dating. Glorious fun, isn’t it? Truth be told, I find it horribly annoying. “Hi, how are you? What’s your favorite song? What do you do for fun?” Well, that’s how it can be. I of course go with the “screw the rules” method and just ramble on about this and that.

They say you should be yourself when going out on dates. I agree. I’d much rather have someone see all sides of me now rather than be surprised a few months down the road when they hear the obscenities flying out of my mouth while watching the Steelers lose a football game. Of course I’ll want to show all the great things about me, but I’ll also throw out the possible annoyances to see if it will be something tolerable down the road or if it’s a deal breaker.

It all sounds fine and dandy, doesn’t it? But when faced with meeting up with someone that really catches your eye, do you really act 100% yourself? As I think back to previous dating times I know that one of my shortcomings is the fact I’ll actually be a bit more reserved or conservative. Not that I won’t still be throwing out all my likes and dislikes, but physically I’m more reserved. I don’t want to ruin anything by being too physical in the beginning (and I’m even talking about a mere kiss here). Yet, when I’m with someone that doesn’t have me a bit head-over-heels, I’m a bit more of the “whatever” attitude and will go in for that kiss right away. There are of course many variables that go into this…how outgoing/physical the other person is, the social setting we’re in, my general mood, my energy level, etc. However, for the most part, it’s trying to find that balance of “show your interest to make sure they know you’re interested” with “don’t be too forward or a jerk”.

It’s odd that this is something I recognize yet I still find it a bit tough to “fix” (if that’s the correct word for this situation) it. Chemistry is very important to me.

There are a number of people that I could tolerate just living with for the rest of my life…but I want that spark and I know others do too. The odd thing is…I can feel that spark right away but I can also feel nothing at first but have the flame build and grow stronger over time until I’m a big mushy mess every time I think about that significant other.

So there you are…in front of someone that you find attractive, fascinating, smart, sexy, exciting, and just plain great in your eyes. What do you do? Your heart flutters, you like this person, you want that kiss but you’re still in the discovery stage and are not sure how comfortable they would be with that kiss. You’re not sure what to do with this desire…obviously a spark is inside but  you try to temper it. By doing so, you risk having them think you’re not interested. I’m curious to know just how many others out there deal with the same issues. Perhaps you never recognized you’re doing this. I realized I’ve been doing it since high school. The two versions of me that are out and about…the one that’s just out having a grand ole time and the one that is reserved trying not to do anything too stupid and scare your current desire away.